from the moment i wake up, before i put on my makeup

Let's go back to a more innocent time, when makeup colors either used numbers or had sweet names like Cherries in the Snow. In recent years things have gotten more sassy. I've had an eyeshadow named Kitten and a lip gloss called Prrr. That's kind of cute. Things should have stopped there. A couple of months ago I made a pilgrimage to Sephora, beauty Mecca. A very enthusiastic young salesman started brushing and patting things on my face. Pretty soon a few other customers were coming over to watch. He put on quite the entertaining floor show. As he was applying blush, he told another woman the same color would look good on her, too. I asked the name of it and he said, "Score. And that's what's going to happen when you wear it." (Still waiting.) I bought the blush and several other items. The eye shadows are named Sin and Roach (yes, that's right). And the name of the mascara just taunts me. I've seen products with names too naughty to mention. Maybe I'm missing the days when all it took was a flavored Bonne Bell Lip Smacker.